Tuesday, July 30, 2013

This is a post I wrote on my old blog in January of 2011. I have been getting a lot of feedback about it so I decided to re-post it! Enjoy!

So I would say I have been doing the single thing for a long time now. It is pretty rare when new boys come on the radar for me. However, I live in a house with 23 other girls, and besides them, 34 others that are in my life on the reg. (read-sorority girl) All of these other girls cycle through men very quickly. As I haven't been occupied with any of my own men, I watch my sorority sisters. I watch how they are with boys, how they swoon, how they date, and how it ends up not working out, for the most part.

I have learned some very important lessons with doing all of this watching.
Women? We are crazy. Downright, bat-ish, mother-lovin crazy.
We are exactly the stereotype men think that we are! We over-analyze. We freak out. And guess what? It's not cute.
There are many types of crazy. Here are a few I particularly find ridiculous...
There are the obsessive girls. These are the girls that are writing a boys name all over their binder with hearts. Has a male ever said, "The way she stalks me...it's so adorable." NO! No, no, NO!
There are the over-analyzers. These are the girls that when the male is still trying to remember her name, she already has half their wedding planned. Or my favorite "he texted/said/facebooked/tweeted this, and so ahhhbviously he means ______(fill in the blank with a ridiculous overreaction."
This is the one I struggle with, because it's SO EASY to take what a boy says and twist it around to what you want to believe. However my philosophy for the past few years has been to take it one step at a time, because you probably won't make it to the next step anyways. If we are bein honest.
There are the JUST PLAIN STUPID girls. Example. "He called me at 3 am to come over, so I did. I don't get why he doesn't want to be my boyfriend..." When I heard one of my sisters say this, it took all I had not to immediately tweet the story....hashtag bootycall. Are you kidding me? Of course he doesn't want to be your boyfriend. Does the phrase "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" ring a bell?
Examples like this go on and on, "He only texts me when he's drunk..." HELLO!? Were you dropped on your head when you were an infant?! He doesn't like you. I promise.
The last category I will put us ladies in, are the ones who have not read "He's Just Not That Into You." I believe that every girl should be handed a copy of this when they enter Jr. High, and forced to study it like a friggin bible.
These facts include....
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You
(Guys will ALWAYS find a way to call you if they are interested)

He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You
(If he won't be your boyfriend....something fishy is goin on here.)

He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex With You

(This means you are probably in the friend zone. Or worse.)
He's Just Not That Into You If He Is Having Sex With Someone Else
He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants To See You When He's Drunk
(Stated above)
He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want To Marry You
(Same with the dating thing, only elevated.)
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up With You
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared On You
(He's probably hiding from you and your heart covered binder)
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married (And Other Insane Variations Of Being Unavailable)

The main lesson to take away from this book is that "You are the rule, not the exception."

An example of this is you meet an awesome guy, and he gets your number. If he doesn't call you, he's just not that into you. This is the rule.

The exception is all of the little stories that your girlfriends tell you to make you feel better while you are halfway into a gallon of ice cream.

The exception in this case would be something like, "I knew a girl once who gave her number to a guy and he totally lost it and couldn't call her, but they ran into each other a few months later and now they are happily married while 14,000 kids!"
No. You are not the exception. I don't really think these stories are actually even true.
One day, you might be the exception. But you can never, ever think of yourself or your situation as the exception. If you are even having this thought, sorry, but you are an overanalyzer. See above.

I am not saying I have never been one of these girls, I have just had the opportunity to come to terms with the fact that as women, we are crazy. It's who we are. If you wanna keep on keepin on, that's just fine. But if you want to stash the crazy, not a bad idea either.

Just sayin.


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