Monday, December 16, 2013


Over the summer I had a hell of a time finding a job. I was taking classes at UVU and living in Murray so my schedule was way weird. I was starting to get really frustrated cause like, I am a retailer's dream. I may be bitter and grumpy in real life/twitter life but in retail I am like "HELLO. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE MY LIFE. I WOULD LOVE TO DEVOTE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO YOU, THE CUSTOMER." So why I was having such a hard time finding a job was a mystery to me. However I was extremely blessed that I found a job where I did, even if it was random and took longer to find than I would have liked.
I work at a swim store called Aquaholics in Midvale, Utah. Have I ever swam in my life? No, I haven't. I did one semester of water aerobics and that is where my expertise ends. However, I have never loved a job as much as I love this job. I work at home for them in Logan and when I am in SLC I work in the store. 
Working at a swim store does tend to have more awkward moments then most. I want to share a couple of them, because they are gems.
So one day this lady comes in. We will call her Mary. She was about my sisters age, thirty five ish. She was pretty large. About 400-500 pounds I would say. She needed a swimsuit. We don't really carry her size in our store so being the good little retail employee I would like to think I am, I got on my computer and found they carry plus size suits at Lane Bryant stores. I called Lane Bryant and realized their suits are sized by bra size. Mary looked at me wide-eyed and said "I don't know my bra size..." I thought this was a little odd. "You have no clue at all?" I asked her. She said no and seemed a little downtrodden. Then her whole face lit up and she grabbed my hand and brought me into a dressing room.
"I know I am big, but my boobs are small" she said and before I had a chance to turn around and jet out of that freaking dressing room, she lifts up her shirt and pops her boob out into her hand.

I am used to seeing naked people in my store but usually those naked people are six year old little girls in Hello Kitty undies while I am trying to squeeze them into a couple hundred dollar suit. 
I was horrified. I almost passed out because I was seeing a random ladies boob, in a very very small dressing room that reeked of B.O because of how hard she worked to get into our biggest swimsuit a few minutes before.
Somehow I did not let my shock show and kept eye contact, not looking at her candy-boob. 
I nodded when she asked if it was a B cup and then got out the door. My manager saw the look of pure disgust on my face and got Mary to leave. 
It. Was. Terrible. 

Onto my second most horrifying experience.
We rent wetsuits at Aqua and one day "Bob" came in looking for a 2X wetsuit. Bob wasn't huge by any standards, I thought the 2X would fit him pretty well considering that wetsuits are supposed to be extremely tight. I had one and I gave it to him and sent him into the dressing room. Poor Bob came out fifteen minutes later and he was pretty sweaty and he had the wetsuit on like this:
His suit was on only the bottom half of his body, except I instantly realized it was backwards. After I told him his mistake, I felt so bad because the look on his face was so defeated. He went in and tried again. He comes out twenty minutes later and he has his wetsuit almost on properly, he just needs a little help. So I have him turn around and I start tucking the wetsuit where it needs to go and I pull my hand out and it is soaking wet. I was really confused when I realized, Bob was dreeeenchhhhed in sweat. Literally dripping all over me, himself, the wet suit, the floor, all of our swimsuits and all over the dressing room.

This time, unlike the boob incident, I wasn't so classy.
"ERRGGHHHJICK!" I screamed as I stepped away. Luckily one of my coworkers came over without missing a beat and got Bob in his suit. But we made Bob buy the suit because if he hadn't of bought it, we would have had to sanitize it and it might have been unsellable. He was literally sweating that much. 
After Bob left we went through-not even joking- a half a bottle of hand sanitizer cleaning up his sweat puddles.

I love my job. I love it so much that the awkward moments aren't so bad. But I am not wanting a boob sighting or a sweat bath any time soon. 

 photo riley-sig_zps51d1cb9c.jpg

1 comment:

  1. AHH! Those stories are horrifying. Haha, but also very entertaining.