Monday, December 9, 2013

The worst thing I have ever done. (Sorry Mom & Dad!)

All teenagers do stupid things.
I have seen all the TV shows about the teenager who sneaks out in the middle of the night with his parents car.
However, that was never me. My garage door can be heard throughout the entire house and I am just too much of a baby to do anything hardcore. That is, until I was sixteen. 
Codi had to convince me to blog about this story ALL morning because I think I have PTSD from this experience and I KNOW that my parents will just kill me. With tuition due tomorrow and Christmas vast approaching I did not want to chance it. But it happened when I was sixteen, I realized at the time and even more so now how incredibly stupid it was and so I feel ready to come clean.
But I'm still sweating as I write this. Mom & Dad, I am so. so. so. so. so. SO. sorry.
So if you aren't familiar with sixteen year old Riley, let me try to give you a glimpse into her complex character. 
I loved Fall Out Boy. More than anything. All my closet was Fall Out Boy shirts. I was emo, I had pink hair, I had braces. I loved the F word. It was bad.
I tried to find a picture of me in my prime emo years but thank goodness, I don't have them. 
Here are the ones I managed to find. Codi and Crystal's normal teenage girl legs, my manly, vans wearing legs.

I hope you can tell I am wearing a mens American Apparel shirt with my hair slicked back as tight as it can go. Pretty typical.
Anyways, I was a weird sixteen year old. Ok. Clear.
So this particular summer I was volunteering on a street team for a local band. (I handed out fliers at concerts and stuff.) So one day  I was just sitting around and  it happened to be the day before Warped Tour. I got an email from my street team leader saying that a band they knew needed a place to crash before Warped Tour the next day. It also just so happened my parents were out of town this particular weekend! "What perfect odds!!" Naiive, F-word lovin, pink hair rockin Riley thought.
So, yup, I did it. I contacted my street team and told them this band could crash in my basement.
So they showed up and they looked like this:
And I mean, at least it was not this...
But still, I started to realized I had made a huge mistake.
So instead of doing the right thing and not letting them in, I called my friends for backup.
Nate, Ashley, Codi and Conor all came over and stayed the night. 
But then it got worse.
One of the guys asked if he could get a ride to Walmart. So a couple of us piled in my Camry and I drove him to Walmart. He came back to the car with a huge case of beer and I had no idea what to do or say, so of course I did nothing. 
So that night, a random band got drunk in my basement and passed out while my friends and I stayed up the entire night to make sure they didn't steal anything or break anything. The next morning I woke them all up and got them out of my house before our neighbors saw a huge sketchy van in my driveway. 
After we spent the morning counting beer cans and throwing them away in the furthest garbage can from my house(I would have walked to Zimbabwe to throw them away if it meant never getting caught but my friends assured me a block away would do), I noticed my Dad's MP3 player was missing. I started freaking out when I realized they had stolen it while I let them do laundry. So I tracked them down at Warped Tour and got it back. They gave me like five CDs  and all of them followed me as an "I'm sorry" gesture.
My friends and I refer to this as "The Night Of The Mandy K" and we talk about it quite often. I have told this story to a fair amount of people and they never forget it. I ran into a lady I worked with three years ago a few nights ago and she asked me if I told my parents about that yet. No I haven't, well, now I have....(don't kill me) 
I just googled Mandy K to see how they were doing, they haven't updated their twitter since 2011 so it's safe to say they all have really secure jobs at a fast food restaurant now. But hey! At least they pursued their dreams!
So there we have it. The funniest and worst possible thing I have ever done and might ever do. 
Sorry Mom and Dad.
If it helps, I think this is the experience in which my anxiety became full-blown. So I have gotten my punishment.
Holy crap, I can't believe I just admitted to that.

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  1. This is so funny. I love that you are admitting this on your blog. Very legit.

    1. I can't believe I am admitting it on my blog! Haha! Thanks for reading!

  2. I just found your blog, and oh my goodness, this is HILARIOUS. This is totally something I would have done as a 16 year old. amazing.