Wednesday, April 2, 2014

not an expert on marriage but I know a few things about relationships

So last night I was making a PB&J sandwich.
Wait, back up. Before we start this conversation I have to tell you that in the last two years I started to learn the difference between looking at a food saying "I don't like that food" and "I have not tried that food" This might sound ridiculous, but it was seriously an ephinany for me. So I started trying things and I started liking a lot more things. An example of this is that I always loved creamy peanut butter but I had never tried crunchy. Once I tried crunchy, there was literally no turning back. My mind is blown about how in the world I ate creamy peanut butter for so freaking long. 
Ok, back to the sandwich.
I was scraping the bottom of my crunchy peanut butter jar when I realized Mark prefers creamy peanut butter. 
"Hmm," I wondered "I guess we will have to buy both kinds of peanut butter. That seems excessive, though. I guess Mark will just have to deal with crunchy peanut butter. Or maybe I will have to deal with creamy? But I love crunchy! Maybe I could get a separate thing of nuts and sprinkle them on my sandwich..."
Ok, listen. I do not even eat PB&J sandwiches that much. Maybe a few times a month. The fact that I was getting so worked up over peanut butter was a little strange but not really, since it's me.

What i'm trying to get to is this:
A year before I was even engaged, I went to a bridal faire. Amongst all these overpriced photography/catering booths was a booth from Stronger Marriage. They were giving away toilet paper and I was like "What? That's weird. Let's leave. Where's the free photobooth?" but my friend Karly made us stop. The lady asked me if I believed toilet paper should be over or under the roll. 
I thought about it for a second and I replied 
"Umm, I guess over?"
She smiled and responded "Hmm, what about your boyfriend? What side does he have it on?"
I asked Mark when I got home and he said under. 
This was the first time, honestly, that I had realized Mark and I are different. Our whole dating life had been finding our similarities and coming together with those. I never realized that we were raised totally differently and neither of those ways were wrong. It's not wrong to like creamy peanut butter, it's not wrong to have the toilet paper come from the bottom of the roll. These are really simple examples, but you understand. The lady at the booth gave me a little magazine of information about Stronger Marriage and I still have it. I hope I always will. It was the only permanent thing at that Bridal Faire. In ten years it will not matter if you had your flowers done by Flower Patch or Flowers by Design. It won't matter where your cake came from.  It will matter about how you deal with your differences because that can make or break a relationship. 
I hate the girls that are married for like a week and they start advertising for marriage advice on their blog. No, no, no. This is not me. That's not what is happening here. I think this advice could be applied to any relationship. Friends, family, dog, I dunno, everyone. I have a particular friend (ok, I have like twenty seven friends) who literally cannot be on time to anything ever. EVER. I am always inappropriately early to most everything in life. Being on time is a priority for me and it's not for a lot of people, and that's ok. Having a clean bathroom is not a priority for me, but it is for some people. So maybe they are late because they are cleaning their bathroom. It's all fine.
Ok well, that's my rant for the day.

PS we are sending out invites in two days. If you haven't already, go ahead and put your address in this google doc.
I can't believe that in a month-ish, we will be married!

 photo riley-sig_zps51d1cb9c.jpg

1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog and it is adorable! I laughed the whole way through this post. I've just been married for about 8 months and seriously I have the exact same thoughts!