Friday, June 26, 2015

relaxation station

On Monday, my friends and I went to the Cliff Spa at Snowbird. I had never heard about this place even though I have been to snowbird and even stayed on the same floor as the spa before! So it's pretty awesome, let me tell you about it. You pay $15.00, $20.00 if you want robe and slippers, and you get to just hang out at the spa all day! So the first thing we did is went into the amazing dressing rooms that smelled like an essential oil bomb exploded in the best way. It was a dressing room that I was like, "Even though there are naked old ladies in here, I could chill here all day and be totally cool with it!" 
Then we went into the eucalyptus steam room! It was a normal steam room but again, had the whole essential oils vibe. My skin was so soft and I just felt awesome when I came out.

Then we went up to the pool. Not only was the pool amazing because of its' views, but it was also great because it was breezy since we were so far up into the canyon! That means we weren't drenched in sweat while we were laying out.

We took a break and went and ate lunch at one of the restaurants. This was more pricey obviously but we ordered apps and were as happy as could be.

At the end of the day we used their showers. I only bring this up because it was such a top off to the day. They had THE most amazing:
A. Shower heads
B. Shampoo & Conditioner
C. Lotion
D. Free EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER NEED like razors, q-tips, mouthwash, brushes, etc etc etc. 

So I was one yummy smelling mama jama when I left. 
Anyway I really want to go again. I wouldn't rent the robes again because they were way scratchy and the sandals were pretty weird. However $15 felt totally worth it to me because I have never in my entire existence felt so relaxed!!
 It was a great day. 

Here are some blurry iphone pictures. I am getting my new camera really soon and i'm so excited! 



It's hard to see the little waterfall but it was so nice to lay at the pool then look up and see that beautiful little waterfall!


Awkward robe self timer picture


The views! The views! 



Have a good weekend!

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Friday, June 19, 2015

too busy feeling feelings and overthinking about it

I feel like it's getting kind of heavy around these parts for some reason? I normally don't do so many serious posts, especially in a row! However my hormones have been literally insane lately with my new birth control trying to find it's resting place...haha. I cry at THE weirdest things lately. I cried when OITNB made a Jersey Shore reference. I'm a total freak haha
Anyway, lately I have noticed a loss in confidence. I'm just like "Why am I not good at crafts like my sister?" or "Why do I lack fine motor skills?" when I thought about taking up cross stitch hahahah but seriously, it's so stupid to focus on the negative. Again, thanks new birth control.

Then we come to this blog. This blog is a weird thing for me. I have always, and I do mean always-- heyyyy myspace!, blogged for two purposes: so I felt like I was being heard, aka I just love to write, that's the English major in me. Second purpose, to chronicle my life. I am terrible at journals. Just totally terrible. My blogs are the only thing I have to look back on my life!
Then I wrote four posts that went crazy on Pinterest. Seriously. It was bringing these new followers and these crazy stats to my blog and I was like woahhh buddy. Not that they are super impressive numbers, but for me they were pretty crazy. Companies started to reach out and want to send me free stuff and wanted to do giveaways for my readers! It was pretty cool. I felt like people finally cared about what I was saying. 
Then I felt like I was at a fork in the road. I had to choose if I wanted to go down path A or path B.
Path A was start purposely trying to build numbers, build page views, etc etc. Basically, make blogging a part time job or a super serious hobby. I really wanted to do path A, however it was really overwhelming to me and I really didn't want to get caught up in thinking I was hot shiz.
Path B was to stop caring and stop reaching out to companies to do giveaways, stop putting so much thought into content, blog posts, etc. 
Life kind of chose for me. I graduated and got a teaching job and since i'm a baby, I couldn't do Path A as well as teach. Naturally I just fell into path B since I was so busy.
However I really miss working with companies. It's not even about getting free stuff, it's really not. I don't feel like I can say that and have anyone believe me, but it's true. I have found companies that have changed. my. life (not trying to be dramatic, literally the truth) through blogging. I have got to utilize skills that I have that I don't feel like get utilized through teaching. I miss writing 3-5 times a week. I just love certain parts of blogging that aren't happening right now and it's really bumming me out.
So I was really excited when a company got into contact with me several weeks ago and asked to collaborate, but then decided I was about 150 followers short on instagram to qualify for their collab program. I was kind of sad, but I understood. I would never ask a company to give me something if I didn't think the exposure was worth their time and money.
What did kind of suck was another blogger actually got the collab. They got to work with the company. I was really defeated? It also came on a day that I had a weird run in at the gym and so my confidence was super low. 
Anyway, I just thought well, she is so much better than me because they want to work with her and they don't want to work with me! I want to be clear that I don't feel like her life is perfect or her blog is perfect, it honestly wasn't even jealousy? I was just insecure she just got it and I didn't. I don't know how to explain that very well, haha.
That feeling has stuck for the past month! I was starting to get so annoyed with myself. It was building onto other things as well like my career and my friendships. Then today I was on Pinterest and saw these two quotes:

I had actually pinned ^^^^ this quote a long time ago and I think about it often, but I felt like it was a purposeful reminder for me. 

Then I found this, linked from Lauren Conrad's website and I was like "Man, Lauren Conrad is a bad bitch and she probably has felt exactly like i'm feeling soooo many times"
So I am feeling a lot better. I feel like with trying to find another job and getting caught up in the blog world and ya know, watching America's Next Top Model, I feel like competition is the name of the game in life. I just don't really know if I believe that anymore though. Whatever we do, wherever we are supposed to go or be, it's right for us. It is what is supposed to happen. We might have regrets, but in the end I just feel like we end up where we have to be. 
I don't know, what do you guys think?  

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Thursday, June 18, 2015

life lessons I got from America's Next Top Model

I know, right? I realize this is a super strange post.

Hear me out though. 

Since I have all the time in the world on my hands, I have been watching ANTM from the very beginning. The very first cycle aired in 2003. Even if you didn't know that, you could absolutely tell from the clothes the girls are wearing. Also, they use a sidekick. The brand new phone from TMobile.  Lolz. 

As I was watching it, I was loving all the drama, how freaking nuts Tyra Banks is, and of course the photoshoots. 

What I wasn't expecting was how watching this stupid show would make me think about the world today! Just watching the show told me a lot about how the world was in 2003. I didn't like it at all. It made me so happy for all the progress the world has made?
Here are a few examples...

They had a plus size model on the first season. By plus size, I don't even mean real plus size. She had one of the flattest tummies I had ever seen, but she had a pretty significant chest. 

Anyway, the comments to her were blatant fat shaming. The worse was from a few designers that they worked with on the show, and Janice Dickinson. The world's first "supermodel" and also eating disorder promotor. The things they were saying were absolutely horrible. Calling her fat, to her face. Telling her she would never find any clothes in her size, telling her nobody wants to look at her. Telling her that she could take a hint from the bulimic girl on the show. It was so insulting and my heart hurt for the poor girl. She was broken up about it every single week. I'm so happy for the progress the world has made about body image and acceptance. Obviously we have a long way to go! But still, if someone fat shamed her like Janice Dickinson and other designers, there would be a huge backlash. 
OITNB wisdom, obviously we have far to go!

The next big way I saw that America's changed was being accepting of other cultures. On the second cycle, there was a cutie from Brooklyn named Yaya. Her Father had come from West Africa and she was very in tune with her culture, which I think is incredible. After seeing a lot of my students not being taught their culture so they could get Americanized, I think it's great whenever someone embraces where their parents came from.

I hardly ever saw Yaya like this... 


However she did wear African-inspired prints on her skirts, etc. 

Anyway, multiple times on the show she got culture bashed! Told that she can't show her culture this much, told her she was too cliche, told her that this obsession with Africa would ruin her chances. It was so disgusting. I'm really happy that America has really started to embrace people's differences. 



Lastly, something we haven't come as far with, but it was how the contestants were treating Miss. Jay. Miss Jay is the show's runway coach. They were using words like "disgusting" "scary" calling her an "it" and making faces. It was pretty shocking that I was seeing this on TV. I expect to see these things from the comments of an article on a transgender person, but I don't really expect to see them on tv? I dunno, it just shocked me.


So today, I am happy with the world and i'm really excited to see the progress that the world is going to make in the next ten + years. 

I also am trying to find something to do besides watching this terrible show...

Have a good week/weekend! 

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Thursday, June 11, 2015

happy list + camera advice?

First of all, thanks for all the love on my internet hate post. I'm so glad i'm not the only one who feels this way! Keep finding happy things in life.
This is a combo of happy lists I have saved in the drafts. Why do I do that?! Just save a bunch of drafts and never publish. Who knows.

summer vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!///my parents bathtub with my Mom's stress relief bubbles and lotion///getting my first bath bomb from lush///my dogs being so cuddly///rewatching America's Next Top Model from the beginning, so hilarious///finding a pretty dress at goodwill for $3///forgetting my curling iron, borrowing one from #mybbmaddie (see twitter) and having my curls turn out way better than ever???//////king sized bed///taking a much need shower///having my hair be uber soft lately///a clean car (Obviously Mark's, not mine ever haha)///artic circle corndog meal haha///wearing nikes to school, no blistered feet at the end of the day///michael's dollar section///my kid who came to school dressed as John Lennon///Sunday lasting an eternity! Relaxation!///Entourage///my little niece grabbing my face really softly to tell me a secret. I die.///smores cereal from winco///the bulk candy section from winco, while we're at it///hummus///being called healthy? I was like do you know who I am????///having alllllllll the time to read///plus size model blogs///



I have so many friends who say funny things but I never write them down! The only thing I remember is the other day in the car I was making a series of really gross faces and Mark was describing each one. I made one and he said "That's the Young Women's Medallion Face"



Oh yeah, and Brooklyn and I were watching tv and they said "bang for your buck" 
Brooklyn looks at me with the widest eyes and said, horrified, "butt!?!?!"
She's four. Haha
Lady at the gym today after I limped into the locker room because I AM SO SORE "....are you..okay?" 



Also, I have spent the last month researching cameras. I have decided I want a Canon, decided I want a 50 mm lens, NOT a kit lens. Now I have narrowed it down to two choices as far as the body goes. The Canon t3i and the Canon t3.  I really want the t3i because of the better video quality, but is it worth the price? Not sure. Does anyone have any one of these cameras that can weigh in?

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Monday, June 8, 2015

eshakti relaunch!

A few months ago, ok, more than a few months ago, time goes by too fast! I wrote about my experience working with eshakti. I still wear that dress at least twice a month, I love it so much. 


I'm really excited to tell you that eshakti has changed a lot of things up, in the best way!
They have launched a ton of new lines, and just like their dresses, they are absolutely gorgeous. 
Some of my absolute favorites are the contemporary and bohemian line. I was on their site browsing for over an hour, adding random things to my cart. Mark about had a heart attack. Here are some of my favorites:
I'm imagining this jumpsuit with my red saltwaters. I dunno, i'm just a sucker for denim. 
I about died when I saw this. I think it's beyond gorgeous. It reminds me of DVF? Codi will have to fact check me on that one.
This. This is what I would wear in my another life to an art show in Boston. 
I love this for like a fancy date night. I think it's classy and gorgeous. 
I wrote a post a while ago about how I am trying to dress more spunky and these pants are the perfect thing. Also, just like their dresses, their pants and shorts are totally custom so they will actually fit! 
Ok, eshakti has always been so good to you guys and to me, so in light of that they are offering a FULL ON FREE $35.00 credit. It's insane! It's insane. They are so awesome.
It's only valid until June 21st, so go go go go! I can tell you that their clothing is beautifully made. Not cheapo teen store in the mall stuff. It's the stuff you get when you are learning how to be a grown up.
Happy shopping!! 



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Sunday, June 7, 2015

the internet is a scary place

Lately I have been down, in a major way, on the internet. By internet, I pretty much mean facebook. But also maybe a few other things as well.

I feel like I have some something? that makes me absorb the energy around me way more than normal. I just get so effected by things. So a few weeks ago I realized I was seeing nothing but negative posts and I really feel like it made me in a weird mood like, all the time.
Then  Caitlyn Jenner happened and it. was. like. a. flood.
THEN! it was the Pride Parade in SLC this weekend. That was a whole other flood. Noah status. The comments on a KSL article were making me straight up sick. I don't think I have truly understood hate until today. Dead serious.
 I absolutely cannot believe what people are saying about other humans. I agree with my friend Leah, it's just our job to be nice. 
I can't quit the internet. I feel like in this world it doesn't make sense. It's like being scared of getting in a car accident so you just decide not to drive. So I have been trying to go out of my way to find the good things in this world wide webzzz. It's hard! It's so hard. It shouldn't be, but it is. 
Have you guys seen any particularly positive stories around here lately? What do you guys think about the internet these days?
Also I took a quiz on buzzfeed about how old I am according to my interaction with technology. I got 64. Goodbye cruel world.

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